


souls, just the same

by nebulera



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Ficlets, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23125246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulera/pseuds/nebulera
Summary: A navigation of love through the galaxy and an ongoing war.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 18
Kudos: 88





	1. solace

It’s not until he’s falling apart in Rex’s arms that he realizes his captain loves him.

He’s shaking completely, and hasn’t stopped since they’d failed to retake the remote city on a mid rim planet from Seperatist control. They’d had to retreat after a violent ambush that left them aimless like easy prey. They simply fell short. Their losses weren’t incomprehensible, though they would have, had the 501st forces not left as soon as they did. Except this was not what was troubling Anakin. They were simply caught off guard. Anakin and Jesse had entered the home of a humble, blue woman, one that had wanted them to step out of the rain for a second so she could offer them tea. She couldn’t speak their language and neither Anakin nor Jesse understood her, but her presence was a warm welcome in their hearts, and their legs. They’d been standing, walking, and running for hours.

She would not stop touching Anakin’s hair, and he could plainly attribute that to the fact that she had none. And when her small children came running in from the rain, holding onto Rex’s hand, their glistening bare heads added to his inkling. He did nothing to stop her, as she was only curious. Jesse had removed his helmet with a laugh, brushing his hand over his hairless head before making a side comment on the general’s pretty locks. Upon separating himself from the kids, Rex called for Jesse back outside for further recon. Anakin made to get up himself, but his captain put his hand out and motioned against it, saying nothing as he looked at him through his visor. Anakin could not see his eyes, but he understood.

He’d be lying if he said a part of him that had been smothered by the order that raised him didn’t want to stay here longer, practically being spoiled by the woman. Her fingers in his hair were soothing and he relaxed against it. Even with his eyes closed, in the dark hut with the rain batting away outside, he was nearly back on Tatooine. 

Even with the clear physical difference, right down to her touch, the nameless woman reminded him of his mother.

The separatists were merciless when they blew her home to hell. Rex scrambled crazily to remove his general from the rubble, burning himself in the process, but staving off something worse for Anakin. Physically, he’d been only slightly burned. Though he knew from looking into Anakin’s anguished eyes that he could not save him from the pain of his failure.

His room on the  _ Resolute  _ is small, and though retains some semblance of home, it only left him profoundly lonely. His chest and head hurt more intensely than his wounds, and he could feel the strain in the force as his mind darkened. Rex inviting himself in to check on him prevented Anakin from tearing apart his room in unadulterated anger and frustration.

Knelt together on the floor, Rex’s arms around him are steady. Anakin trembles terribly as silent tears flood his eyes and blur his vision. He whimpers, trying not to sob, and buries himself into his captain. 

They have touched each other before in ways that have left the other undone, but the feeling of Rex’s gentle fingers combing through his hair as he held him far exceeded any other level of intimacy. There was always a need and want between them, something warm and devoted, but Anakin realizes now just how far it extends for Rex. And himself.

Once the trembling stops, they simply hold onto one another, Anakin slotted next to Rex’s thighs with his arm around his back and hooked onto his shoulder. His other hand is being held by Rex to his padded chest, his face tucked against Anakin’s hair.

Rex’s hand eventually lets go to caress Anakin’s cheek and as he tilts it up to look at him, Anakin’s chest expands with a blossoming warmth for his captain. 

He is not supposed to form attachments, he is not supposed to love. But all is right in the Force, and in his soul, when Rex smiles at him softly with sympathetic eyes, letting the words be known and go unsaid.


	2. control

When Rex hears the ignition of a saber behind him, he expects to turn and see his general with his back to Rex, his form braced in his signature defensive position. A squad of droids, maybe, only Rex could not hear any sort of clanking. He couldn’t hear anything for that matter, nothing but the hum of the saber and his general’s breathing. And when he does finally turn, he is not met with Anakin’s back. 

“General,” Rex says, calmly, through his bucket. His blasters, which he had ready when he turned, have lowered significantly, and he begins to put space between them. His general is staring him down with a hard gaze aimed at Rex’s weapons, the color of his eyes neutral to Rex behind his visor. His stance is not his normal defense, his saber instead gripped in both hands in front of him like that of those posed for a duel.

Rex’s stomach turns and he hides his shudder. Looking closer, he sees his general shaking.

“Naumiit.” Anakin remains frozen, his eyes still boring into Rex like he hadn’t heard a thing. _Okay,_ Rex thinks. He’d taken his rescue into his own hands, trusting his troops with the objective while they trusted him with the general. He’d found him laid out in an operating room, and after taking out all the medical droids, had helped him to his feet, placing a gentle hand on his back and running his gloved thumb over his lashes. Anakin had woken with a startle. Rex hadn’t trusted him so quickly, but the General waved his concern off.

He knows what to do when it comes to facing a force-user; his training did not leave out how and when to take down an officer when they were mentally compromised. He knows it is in his ability and responsibility to neutralize the general. The memories tucked away in the deep parts of his brain and muscle itch to spring out and take control of him. They beat against his bones so much he can’t hide his tremors. He wasn’t trained on how to push aside feelings that were not supposed to exist. He wasn’t trained on taking down the man he loves.

Rex lets out a breath, and still holding his blasters, reaches up to remove his helmet and drops it to the floor.

Anakin’s hands grip the hilt of his saber tighter, his hands shaking violently. It is now that Rex can see with the blue glow of his saber shining, that Anakin’s eyes have glossed over the blue and been replaced with a muted yellow.

“General,” Rex pleads. “Don’t make me do this.”

Briefly, Anakin’s face turns pained, still looking at Rex’s blasters past his saber, but he doesn’t drop his stance. Then, his face fades into something sinister that makes Rex’s blood run cold. With a horrifying finality, Anakin’s shaking stops and he finally looks directly at him. He barely has time to move before the general is spinning his saber and launching himself at Rex.

He knows how and when to dodge. He has been beside his general for years. He has seen the movements and the dances and has memorized them. He knows how the general moves like the back of his hand, but he also knows that their stamina is miles apart. It is only a matter of time before Rex falters and the inevitable occurs.

His life depends on this. Anakin’s life — 

Rex is struck by the saber on his arm and he cries out. With the swipe of a hand, Anakin tears Rex’s guns away from him and they scatter across the floor. 

Fear floods him. He wants to believe in his general, that he can fight against whatever is controlling him, but he cannot deny any longer how terrified he is. His heart is beating violently as he continues to try and put distance between the two of them, but an invisible hand clutches at his throat and he struggles to breathe. The Force _pulls_ and is replaced with a tense and physical hand, now being held up by his general. Rex reaches out and claws at Anakin’s shoulders, briefly brushing against his neck and hair. 

Anakin finally makes a sound. It’s pained and _angry,_ and he is pushing Rex across the corridor. He collides with the wall, and it makes a horrid sound. He gasps from the pain. 

When he looks up, the general is moving towards him like a hurricane, saber ignited. 

Rex quickly looks around for anything to use, finds one of his blasters within arms reach and, without thinking twice, aims it up at Anakin, his body finding a way and readying to defend itself. 

It passes. His face falls. “Please,” he begs, because he realizes that he hasn’t the strength. He does not know if he can live with killing Anakin anymore than Anakin can live with killing him.

He is vulnerable on the floor, the blaster in his hand merely a shield rather than a weapon. Looking at Anakin’s washed out eyes pains his chest and he cannot deny his terror. The fight goes out of him and he stops moving backward.

Anakin is looming over him, and with a closer look, Rex sees that he is shaking again. “Please,” he whispers. The general does not stop. Terrified, out of options, and painfully in love, Rex closes his eyes and turns the blaster on himself.

“ _No!”_

Rex gasps when he feels increased pressure against his gauntlets. Even through the armor, he knows that feeling, the warmth and the security. He has placed his life in those hands countless times, and he would continue to until he couldn’t any longer.

He slowly opens his eyes to find his general inches away from his face, terrified and confused, equally heaving for breath as Rex is. His eyes have returned to their natural blue. _“Saviin,”_ Anakin breathes, an answer to Rex’s earlier signal gone unanswered. He lets out a relieved breath, but can’t still his trembling fingers. Anakin is holding onto Rex’s grip on his gun so tightly, begging him with the light pressure of his fingertips. 

Rex loosens his hold and Anakin slowly, shakingly pulls the blaster away from his face. The general, however, does not move from his kneeling position over Rex, still clutching his hand. They are both trembling terribly.

Neither of them can find words to say. Anakin tries but stumbles over with sobs and then he is gently taking either side of Rex’s face between his hands and pressing their foreheads together, their tears mingling. Rex reaches up to carefully hold the back of Anakin’s head. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s me.” He strokes through Anakin’s hair, thumbs at his tears. “ _My jetii. Ner’jetii.”_

“Ner’kar’ta _,”_ Anakin says in a broken voice, every breath he takes sounding like agony. “I’m sorry. _I love you,_ I’m so sorry.”

Time passes more slowly by the second as they hold each other in silence; their shaking fades and their tears dry. One of Anakin’s hands cups the back of his neck and slowly pulls him up into a sitting position. Anakin seats himself across from him to look at his injuries, his face falls upon seeing the scorch in Rex’s armor. Rex shakes his head and reaches up to grasp at his arm. Anakin’s eyes plead and ask if he is okay. Rex answers with a nod and a squeeze.

His eyes go gentle one final time; they have a job to do. 

They help each other up and give one another a moment to breathe. Rex searches around for his blasters. After holstering them, he turns to see Anakin holding his helmet, waiting for him.

Rex crosses the distance between them. He closes his eyes and lets Anakin slide his bucket on for him.

“General.” He forces his voice to be steady. “Are you all right?”

Anakin nods. This time, Rex trusts him completely. 

“Yes, Captain. I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _naumiit_ \- signal  
>  _saviin_ \- violet  
>  _ner’jetii_ \- my jedi  
>  _ner'kar'ta_ \- my heart

**Author's Note:**

> yay or nay


End file.
